When we compare ourselves with others, we feel insecure and struggle in life to grow. The self-doubt questions start seeping in:
Am I good enough?
Why can’t I do this or have that?
Am I ever going to achieve the things others seem to achieve so easily?
We see our friends getting married, and we can’t help but think about why we haven’t settled down yet. Our Facebook News Feed is filled with photos of couples with their first new-born, and we ask ourselves if we’ve missed our chance at having a family. We need to remember that on the outside, things may seem a certain way, but it’s almost always inaccurate. And that leaves our comparisons with very little basis.
We need to remember that
“Everyone is fighting their own battle.”
My dear friends…
Comparing ourselves with others doesn’t benefit us at all. Emotionally, it would only bring us down, and mentally, it immobilizes us. So instead of comparing, please begin with appreciating what you already have.
Many a times when we compare ourselves with others and feel low, We are not aware of one truth of life that someone out there could be looking at us, And wishing for something that we have.
When we are lost in a world of comparisons, our focus is always outward, analyzing others. But we forget that we already have so many millions of things with us, for which we can be grateful and we can appreciate them to have with us.
Another thing which we need to remember, we all are different. As our man Einstein says,
“Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
We’re all different, we see things differently, we’ve all had different experiences and come from different backgrounds. So comparing ourselves to others is synonymous to comparing a fish to a monkey.
Next point you need to keep in mind, things aren’t always what they seem. For some odd reason, we tend to make up our own judgments on people just on the way they look on the outside. You may look at two people working at the same firm, judge them both, and wish to have their position, but what you don’t know is while one may have got the job through his father’s connections, the other had worked twenty years at the bottom of the gutter to get where he is now.
Don’t let a peek through a small window into someone’s life lead to disillusionment or disappointment with your entire life. In other words, don’t compare your whole movie with another person’s highlights reel.
Next very important thing to remember, always be a student. Develop the “continuous learning” philosophy. If you always think of yourself as a student with lots more to learn in life, it becomes easier to think in terms of collaboration, not competition, with peers.
If you think of yourself as an artist who is still painting his masterpiece, you might not be tempted to feel inferior when you view other people’s paintings because your job is not done yet!
Next tip which I want to suggest to you, focus on small successes. Whenever you get affected by comparison take up a small project that you can complete in a relatively short time, and do well.
It could be something that you might have been putting off for a while. For example, let’s say you’ve started a new online business and you start to feel unsatisfied about the lack of progress.
Maybe you’re looking at peers in your industry who are at a similar stage of the business cycle but seem to be gaining a lot more traction. Instead of letting this get you down, how about you focus on something small, like writing a blog or doing a podcast? Doing that specific task well could help lift your spirits.
Also remember, if you must compare, compare to yourself.Some people use comparisons and convert it into motivation. And for those who can do that, go for it. It’s definitely a positive spin; perhaps seeing someone’s success drives you to do the same. The best person to compare yourself to is you. Compare the present you to the past you. It’s a much fairer scale and a sure way to progression and peace of mind.
And the last and most important thing, accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept. Change the things you want to and compare back to yourself and see how much you changed for the better.
And with the things you can’t change, accept that
That’s how you are supposed to be, own it, live it, love it. To feel mentally and emotionally healthy,
it is essential to free ourselves from the comparison trap.
So my dear friends, my humble request to you, the only person you should be comparing yourself to, is the person you were yesterday.